I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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