my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
