do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
