Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
