I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
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