definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
