You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
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