I should be sponsored by Trojan
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
