It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
