Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I cannot find my penis.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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