dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
