I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
