I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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