The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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