but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
and you fell through a lawn chair
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize