Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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