You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
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