omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
