I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Im part way to drunk.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Randomize