i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
