I hope mine doesn't look like that
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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