theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
My balls are so social today.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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