Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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