Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Randomize
