But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
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