Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
