Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize