We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
