you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
