"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Congratulations! We have a period
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