omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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