apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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