Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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