Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
