You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
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