i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
