I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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