Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Randomize