mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
