is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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