finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
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