and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
