So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
