hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
