Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
