Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
