my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
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