i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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