why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Randomize