There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
