It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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