I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
