Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I am available for nakedness
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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