this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
