i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
