Yo dont text me then not text me
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
found the other keg... it's in the tree
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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