Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize