he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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